NEW TO ONLINE THERAPY?

Overview

Online therapy can feel a little different from walking into a counselling room. The room itself, and the journey there and back, can create a natural separation between counselling and the rest of the day. When counselling happens at home, particularly if you also work from home, it can be helpful to create some of that separation for yourself.

You don’t need to create the perfect counselling environment. These are simply some things you might like to think about to help you make the most of our time together.

Joining your session

I use Zoom for online video counselling and will send your invitation by email the day before our appointment. This will contain the link you need to join the session.

Technology occasionally has other ideas. If we are unable to connect through Zoom, I will use the telephone number you have provided to contact you by text or phone so that we can decide what to do next. You are also welcome to contact me in the same way if you are having difficulty joining.

I also offer counselling by telephone, and much of the information on this page applies in exactly the same way.

Finding your space

Confidentiality matters just as much online as it does when counselling takes place in a room together. Where possible, find somewhere you can speak without being overheard and are unlikely to be interrupted. You might want to close the door, let other people know that you need some uninterrupted time, silence notifications or use headphones if they give you greater privacy.

You don’t need a dedicated therapy room. Somewhere reasonably private and comfortable is enough. If you can, though, it can be helpful to use the same place for counselling each time. There can be something useful about your mind gradually recognising this is the place where I come for this.

This can be particularly helpful if you work from home. Moving directly from a work meeting into counselling and then straight back into emails can make it difficult to move from one mental space into another. Something as simple as moving to another chair, closing your work laptop, changing the lighting or making yourself a drink can help create a little separation.

You’re welcome to have a drink with you, as well as a blanket, cushion, tissues, something to fiddle with, your journal, or anything else that helps you feel comfortable. I would usually ask that you don’t eat a meal during our session, although if you need to eat for any reason, that’s okay.

You don’t have to make your home look presentable for me

Online counselling sometimes means that I will see a little of the space you’re living in. There might be washing in the background, an unmade bed, boxes waiting to be unpacked or evidence that other people live there too.

You don’t need to tidy up for me.

The space needs to give you enough privacy to talk, but it doesn’t need to look a particular way. Your counselling session is for you, not your surroundings.

If finding somewhere private is difficult, please talk to me about it. We can think together about what might be possible rather than assuming everybody has a quiet room available to them.

Before we begin

If you can, try to give yourself a few minutes between whatever you were doing beforehand and the beginning of our session.

You might come into your space five or ten minutes early, get comfortable, make a drink or simply take a moment to notice how you’re arriving that day.

You don’t need to prepare what you’re going to say. If you’ve written something in a journal, made a note during the week or have something you don’t want to forget, you’re very welcome to bring it with you.

And if you arrive flustered because something has gone wrong, somebody needed you at the last minute or you couldn’t find the Zoom link, that’s okay too.

We can start with where you are.

Give the session somewhere to land

Counselling can sometimes leave us thoughtful, tired, emotional, relieved, unsettled — or with a mixture of feelings that are difficult to name.

One of the advantages of online counselling is that you don’t have to travel home afterwards. But that journey can also provide a natural transition. When the session ends, it can be tempting to close the laptop or put down the phone and immediately return to work, family life or whatever else is waiting.

Where possible, try to leave yourself a little space afterwards. What you need will be individual to you. You might want a drink or something to eat, a walk, a shower, some quiet, music, your journal, a sleep, a cry, or simply ten minutes in which nobody needs anything from you.

There is no particular way you are supposed to feel after counselling. The idea is simply to give yourself a little time to notice what you need before moving into the next part of your day.

A few practical considerations

Because we aren’t physically in the same place, I will ask where you are at the beginning of each online or telephone session. This means that if a medical emergency or immediate concern for your safety arose during our session, I would know where you were.

Please don’t join a counselling session while driving. It’s important that you are somewhere you can give the session your attention and where we can maintain your privacy as far as possible.

Real life does sometimes wander into online counselling. Doorbells ring, deliveries arrive, children wake up and pets have remarkably little respect for therapeutic boundaries. The aim isn’t perfection. If something happens, we’ll deal with it together.

And please tell me if something about working online isn’t working for you — whether that’s the technology, privacy, communication or simply how it feels to meet this way. We can talk about it together.

Want to know more about online counselling?

Online counselling has advantages and disadvantages, and different ways of working suit different people. If you’d like to know more about how it works and whether it might suit you, you can read my fuller guide to online counselling here.